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“The...angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven.” Matthew 18:10 As I write this, I am on a Florida beach with the crystal clear waters of the Gulf stretching out before me, the cobalt blue sky above me, the sugar-like sand beneath me, and my lobster-red, sun-burned husband beside me!
In the past six weeks, before coming to the beach, I spent eight days in England where I drove one thousand miles on the wrong side of the road, spoke twice, gave three media interviews, and laid the groundwork for Just Give Me Jesus in the United Kingdom for 2003! The day after I returned we celebrated my husband Danny’s 65th birthday! Then I rushed off to my first book tour that scheduled me for four cities in four days, eight book signings, and more media opportunities than I can count or remember – all designed to promote the message of Heaven: My Father’s House.
From the book tour, I went to Tampa for our Kickoff Celebration as we look forward to Just Give Me Jesus there in November. In the meantime, I completed and turned in the manuscript on my new book, My Heart’s Cry, which is due out this fall; my washing machine flooded the laundry room; I tucked in several other speaking opportunities, and had two huge, ivy-laden trees taken down in the yard! You get the picture! I’ve been busy!
Danny and I have barely seen each other for the past month, much less had a meaningful conversation, and I am dropdead exhausted! So the uninterrupted days on the beach are a welcome relief from the hectic pace I’ve been keeping. Actually, the days are almost uninterrupted. There are still phone calls, e-mails, social obligations, and one speaking responsibility that invade our tranquility. With our time here at the beach coming to a close, I long for more lazy mornings when I can sleep until I wake up without the alarm to propel me out of bed, more time to wriggle my toes in the sand and bask in the sun, more casual dinners in out-of-the-way diners with Danny across the table. We’ve had a wonderful time of rest and relaxation, but I’m not satisfied – I just want more! And I want more one-on-one time with Danny...
And if my relationship with Danny has been stretched and strained over the past month, what about my relationship with my heavenly Husband? What about the times in prayer when I’m so tired I can’t keep awake, or so distracted I can’t keep my concentration to the extent I have barely “seen” Him, much less had a meaningful conversation? I long for an extended time of uninterrupted rest and fellowship with Jesus. And so this AnGeL is longing for my heavenly Home where I will always see the face of my beloved Lord! But I’m not ready to go quite yet. There is so much work to be done and so many people to be won! Yet the longing for more of Him is insatiable...
I am like the Apostle John, who was drawn to Jesus by more than just the thrill of seeing all the signs and wonders that accompanied our Lord’s ministry here on earth. John was drawn, not so much by what Jesus had done, as by Who Jesus was...
by the confident sound of His voice,
the compassionate look in His eyes,
the tender gentleness of His touch,
the powerful authority of His preaching,
the sensitive comprehension of His counseling,
the personal intimacy of His prayers,
the sacrificial example of His unselfishness,
the unbroken consistency of His character,
the unconditional nature of His love.
Like John and the other disciples, I have known Jesus personally. Their knowledge was face to face while my knowledge is by faith, but mine is a personal, direct, experiential knowledge nonetheless. And it has increasingly grown from the time I was a little girl when I confessed my sin and asked Him to be my Savior, to the time as a teenager I made the commitment to live my life for Him alone, to the time I drifted from Him in the busyness of being a young mother and returned to Him through the disciplined study of His Word, to the time I answered His call to teach a weekly Bible class, to the time I stepped out in faith to follow Him in an itinerant international ministry, to the time I picked up my pen and wrote my first word to be published, to the time when my heart’s cry under unbearable pressure and pain has been, Just Give Me Jesus!
Yet somehow, like John, it’s just not enough. I have concluded that it will never be enough until my faith becomes sight and I know Him as fully as I am known. Until that day, I find that my yearning for Him is ravenous, and it has once again led me to immerse myself in the pages of His Word – in particular, the eyewitness account of His life and ministry that was recorded by the disciple with whom I most identify – John.
As I have poured over the Scriptures, my heart has cried out for more than just enough...
to escape a fiery hell,
to be saved from God’s wrath,
to manage my guilt,
to get a ticket to heaven,
to squeak through heaven’s gate.
I long for more than just the bare minimum God has to offer.
I long for more than what the average Christian seems to settle for.
I long for everything God wants to give me.
I long for more than enough...
to awaken my conscience!
to bend my will!
to break my heart!
to transform my mind!
to overcome my prejudices!
to soar in my spirit!
to conform me into His glorious image!
to give me an abundant entrance into heaven!
I long to be saturated in Jesus!
So, please, dear God, just give me MORE of...
His voice in my ears
His tears on my face
His praise on my lips
His death in my life
His dirt on my hands
His hope in my grief
His fruit in my service
His love in my home
His courage in my convictions
His nearness in my loneliness
His answers to my prayers
His glory on my knees!*
Until this AnGeL beholds Him face to face forever in my Father’s house, My Heart’s Cry is for MORE of Jesus!
For His Glory, 
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